People fall in and out of love every day. It is in human nature to seek and build meaningful relationships. And the close connections we make on our life journey inevitably shape the way we perceive life. Unfortunately, love is like a blank puzzle.
There isn’t a preset template, and the best thing you can do is follow your instincts and hope the pieces fit. However, there are some common pitfalls you can look out for to avoid heartbreaks and rom-com marathons.
So, when times get rocky, remember these five misconceptions about love that can help you gain a new perspective.
1. Love is a Two-Way Street
Many people believe in the 50/50 rule of relationships. That is, a person receives affection proportionate to what they’ve given out. Indeed, love often begets love. However, to expect reciprocation of every affectionate gesture is quite unrealistic.
Even worse, it can result in scorekeeping, with one person regularly feeling that they are doing more (or less) than the other. Instead, you should give your best – whether it is 50%, 80%, or 100% – in every relationship, and trust the other person is doing the same.
2. Love is Blind
Love isn’t about turning a blind eye to difficulties. It’s about identifying them, understanding them, and moving forward despite them. Love presumes to see the other person in their most authentic light, to acknowledge all their imperfections, and choose to embrace them.
When problems ensue, you should not disregard them, and you should avoid pointing fingers at each other as it can only cause additional conflict. Partners in a relationship should act accordingly by working together to find a solution that benefits both of them.
3. Love Hurts
Inspired by numerous books, movies, and love songs, one of the biggest misconceptions is that love hurts. While, yes, love can hurt at times, and every relationship has its bad moments – the bad should never outweigh the good.
We are bound to make some sacrifices in a relationship, but there’s a tremendous difference between adjusting your plans for mutual benefit and getting caught up in self-deprecating behaviors that benefit no one.
To sacrifice something is to substitute it for an, ultimately, better outcome. Like when a chess player gives up a pawn to protect his queen. Thus, for your wellbeing, it’s essential to step away at times, change perspective, and rationally assess the relationship.
4. Being in a Relationship will Cure Loneliness
Even though every person gets lonely from time to time, loneliness can be a rather intense emotion. And in trying to escape it, people often end up rushing into relationships, thinking that having a partner will make them feel less alone.
However, the problem with loneliness is that it comes from within – not outside – and no amount of received affection can completely fend it off. Luckily, solitude can be tackled in another way – not by receiving love, but by extending it.
Thus, be honest, reach out, share your feelings, and help others get through their hardships. After all, what goes around comes back around.
5. True Love Knows No Boundaries
It’s not easy being trapped between your loved one’s demands, and a decision you know is the best one. It’s a heavy-hearted situation many of us found ourselves in while listening to those unfavorable words: “If you truly loved me, you’d do anything for me.”
However, caring about someone doesn’t equal to giving in to their every demand. Having the strength to say no when necessary is one of the hardest, life-changing, and empowering expressions of love.
So, there you have it, some of the most common misconceptions about love. Of course, every relationship is different, but it’s always good to be aware of these common pitfalls as they can hinder and make relationships more difficult.
[1] “5 Common Misconceptions About Love.” Lifehack [Online] Available at: www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/5-common-misconceptions-about-love.html [Accessed on: 4 July 2020]